I guess now (being the week before Christmas) is an appropriate time to post my reflections on the year.
Considering 2025 was starting out to be a pretty shit year, it’s actually ending a lot better than I probably ever would’ve thought, to be fair.
I think if I were to sum it up into a few words, I’d land somewhere along the lines of: planting seeds in my garden life and praying it’ll grow.
Day by day, despite how hard it’s been to maintain, it has fucking grown.
I’ve begun to think about what laying down some roots in London looks like. Which, if you ask me, is a rather scary thing to wrap my head around because I always thought I was gonna be a digital nomad.
Always on the go, ready to write the next chapter (no pun intended) when the current one is just about to wrap a bow around itself.
Although the digital nomad life is still a possibility, I can envision what the next few years in the UK could look like. It didn’t cross my mind that I would land here.
For context (because I realized I’ve told you how I thought about London, but never revealed what the original plan would’ve been after that), the plan if I wasn’t keen on staying in the UK was to move elsewhere. Exactly where I had no clue, and would’ve thought about that when I needed to cross that bridge.
But the roots of my garden life have been planted exactly where I am now, seeds have begun to sprout, and now I have to keep working hard to keep it alive.
(Which actually, as a single 20-something, is a really hard thing to do, but fuck it, we ball).
Will it be easy? Not in the fucking slightest. But none of this journey has been. I’ll be presented with a new test in the years to come, I’m sure.
Although, I realized my quiet and natural disconnect from Toronto has taken flight, and oddly, I feel pretty content about it.
That’s not to say I don’t miss it. I do.
I write this now sitting on my mother’s couch (back for the holidays), and I’ve missed my people. I’m excited to catch up with more of my people in the coming weeks. The people who got to know me before people outside of Canada did.
BUT…
I don’t feel as homesick as I did last holiday season. I had actually already begun to miss London before I even left. And I miss it even more now that I’m not there at present. It’s like there’s an itching part of me that can’t wait to return that first week in January.
And I don’t know if that says more about me or about my relationship with the city (ie. Toronto).
Maybe it’s both.
But what a privilege that is, innit? To have a home in two cities.
If you’d told me this would kinda be my life when I was 10 and still dreaming of a life like this, I would’ve disrespectfully told you to fuck off. But 14-15 years later, here we are.
I amaze myself, truly. I think because I know I’m actually fucking crazy, but in all the best ways.
I explained in my previous letter how much has changed in the past year pretty specifically, so I won’t go into it again (if you’re new here and want to read it, head to chapter six). Lots of change (good and bad), humble moments (as London likes to remind me), grounding moments (as the people who are cheering me on will shout about), and rolling with the punches were pretty much the vibe of the year.
But with that came lots of solitude, and lots to be thankful for.
I can’t even explain the ways I know I’ve grown this year. And though it started off really confusing and on a shitty (and dare I say, emotional) note, I made the most of it.
And in some ways, I’m grateful for it.
Because it was a challenge I needed to make me think about where I was actually headed and if I’d be happy with it. A lesson I learned to ensure I don’t go through it again. A wrong turn I made that I redirected myself out of.
And fuck man, I am so proud of myself. For everything I poured into this year, and what this year gave me in return.
So cheers to another year of watering my London life and continuing to watch it grow. And cheers to 2025’s greatest hits (see Instagram post below)
ED out x.
State of London (And Toronto): this month’s grievances
- central london during christmas lights season
- lazy neighbours
- tube fare
- TORONTO IS SO DAMN COLD RIGHT NOW
- the fact that an hour on the tube and an hour on the GO train are two very different experiences
- snow
Listen to: Starting Line // Luke Hemmings
Listen to The Sound of Unfiltered HERE
Ellie Doe-Demosse 