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Dear K,

From the moment our eyes met across that very quiet, late-night gym I knew you were special. It’s no good me trying to put it into words because for ten years I’ve tried.

I saw you at many late-night training sessions after that first night. We smiled awkwardly, said hello and carried on. And then you appeared on a dating app (maybe Badoo? Maybe PoF?). We matched instantly. We could finally act on whatever had sparked in the gym.

We started hanging out, usually you arriving at mine after a long, late shift. Your life was chaotic at the time, working shifts, studying, separating, co-parenting a young son.

I wanted more.

We slowly dissolved and years passed with infrequent contact and occasionally bumping into one another. In 2019 we tried to rekindle, everything was the same yet different. Our contact was intermittent. I made some stupid decisions. And you always supported me with kindness. Covid and lockdown came around and I moved away.

We have one another’s numbers and still to this day I want to reach out. I want the comfort and safety I once felt with you. But I don’t. We’re in two different worlds, forever pushing and pulling. I feel bound to you by some unknown shackle, and I think you feel the same. We can never shift one another yet we can never make it happen.

But all I wish you is peace and happiness. Someone to take care of that heart of yours.

—Anonymous