I guess we’re back with chapter fucking five. How did that happen?
Firstly, my apologies for skipping out on doing the usual London Letter last month. Not only was I feeling a lil lazy, but I had quickly deemed August such an unproductive month that I couldn’t justify sitting in front of my MacBook to simply tell y’all: “I did nothing but cry” in very few words.
But we’re back because September was surprisingly busier and more productive.
The month itself started out fairly slow, but a lot of exciting things came down the pipeline really quickly which I didn’t anticipate or fully prepare for. I became a lot more social this month (would you fucking believe?) going out for drinks with colleagues, making friends off Bumble BFF and planning fun hangouts (including a visit to the Royal Botanical Gardens at Kew and a Leon Bridges show). AND…and, I saw the Jonas Brothers for the first time ever (7 year old me lived fr).
Lots of fun work activity happened in September as well with the We Live In Time madness from TIFF making its way to London, where I was able to work both days of the junket. It made not being able to go home for work a little bit worth it (though I still missed home like you wouldn’t fucking believe it).
Bright side: I can now say with my whole chest and in complete honesty (and awe) that I have not only seen Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield in the flesh, but Florence Pugh has looked me directly in the eyes (and I loved every millisecond of it). They are both beautiful humans in real life and their chemistry together while completing their interviews is just as undeniable than the chemistry they share in the movie.
And the movie— god, We Live In Time might be one of my favourite films and it hasn’t even been released worldwide yet. It’s so beautiful, and raw, and real, and delicate, and sad, and every emotion under the fucking sun, and Florence and Andrew delivered such amazing performances in this film. I left the screening room teary-eyed (and proud that it didn’t escalate to anything further than being misty-eyed LOOL).
I can’t wait for the rest of y’all to catch up and experience this film the way that I did.
In other realms of my life, I did some travelling this month, embarking on my first solo trip in 5 years (and no, the move to London doesn’t count). I went to Amsterdam for a few days — a city I’ve been meaning to visit properly for the last 10 years.
In summary, the trip was nothing short of fun-filled, exhausting, and a bit shocking at times. Honestly, it went by so fast that I hadn’t even realized it all happened until I was on my train back to London.
I experienced a lot of firsts on this trip, including my first time staying in a hostel, more specifically a female dorm where I occupied the same space as four other women for a few nights.
I stayed at St. Christopher’s at The Winston, which is already located in a really good part of the city. It’s only an 8-minute walk from Amsterdam Centraal train station, literally the street right behind the Red Light District (I think you can see it from the Belushi’s beer garden), and only about a 25 to 30-minute walk on foot to all of the tourist attractions that I visited during my stay. It’s also located on and near streets that have endless food options (from your regular American-style cuisines and fast-food chains to local bakeries, restaurants, and more).
(I may or may not have discovered that the Cool Lime Refresher at Starbucks existed on this part of the globe and had to get it…it did not disappoint, though I am ashamed).
It was a great first experience staying in a hostel, especially travelling solo. I admit that I was anxious the most about what staying in a hostel would be like, but I never felt unsafe while staying here or roaming around Amsterdam alone even (side from a few men that had the gull to hit on me and one instance where I thought I was being followed).
The women that stayed in the dorm over the 3 nights that I was there were great — amazing conversations were had, travel and tourist recommendations were passed, Instagram handles were exchanged (side from one early morning instance where an older woman set off a blow dryer at like 7am in the room and I wanted to die because I’m a light sleeper and was also exhausted from all the day one madness).
When I was reading the reviews for this hostel, majority of the negative reviews were of noise complaints coming from Belushi’s (which is the bar that is located on the ground floor of the hostel). My room was located on the 7th floor (which I guess was the very top floor of the building), so I barely heard any of the noise coming from the bar during its busiest hours of the night. The only noise I heard (but still pretty minimal) was the sounds from the busy streets because the windows in the room were open (it got real fuckin’ hot at night even with two electric fans blowing, I’ll tell you that).
If you’re a woman and you’re thinking about travelling solo to Amsterdam, The Winston isn’t a bad spot at all and I would absolutely recommend staying in their 5-bed dorm, especially if you’re balling on a budget.
The itinerary for this trip was packed from the jump with loads of museum visits and walking tours, and city exploration. During my 3-day stay, I visited/did:
- the Moco Museum
- an evening canal cruise
- the Van Gogh Museum
- the Sex Museum
- A’dam Lookout
- a haunted history and ghost walking tour
- the Street Art Museum
- the Rijks Museum (and something was being filmed outside of the museum on both of the days that I walked by, including the day that I actually visited???? I still don’t know what it was)
- the Anne Frank House
…and lots and lots of walking around wandering the streets for a few hours, which included a very much-needed visit to the legendary The Fault In Our Stars bench location where (of many things), Augustus Waters told Hazel Grace Lancaster that his cancer had returned.
Needless to say, the trip was fucking loaded with things to do and I’m shocked that I was able to do it all and by myself without having a nervous breakdown, but it helps that I’ve already done a solo trip to another equally busy city so it didn’t feel as intimidating (but I was a bit rusty on day one for sure).
One thing I will say is: cyclists run this fucking city.
There are so many bikes in general and so many people that use bikes to get around. You think drivers are rude? Wait till you meet a cyclist in Amsterdam. It doesn’t matter if you have the right of way to cross, you’re getting cussed tf out regardless if you get in the way of a bike.
Of all the amazing things I experienced and saw on this trip, I think the two major highlights that I’m committing to memory are the Street Art museum visit and seeing The Fault In Our Stars location with my own eyes.
I love art, but I especially love Street Art and the museum is basically a huge warehouse that showcases work from artists all over the world. I think I had read that there are 160 works by 150 artists in that museum at present??? Which is so fucking nuts to me. And it’s sitting in this really cool (and beautiful) warehouse district in North Amsterdam.
I’ll be honest, I’ve been to a fair amount of museums in my young adult life, but I’ve never experienced a museum quite like that one.
And the best thing about it is that it’s not insanely busy like museums you visit usually are. So you can actually take your time with each piece of art that catches your eye and explore the museum without feeling like you’re in anyone’s way, or feeling like you’re in a packed room, or that you can’t appreciate the space that you’re occupying with the art that’s in front of you.
Should I return to Amsterdam (which I inevitably will in my next few years living in Europe), I will definitely be stopping by STRAAT (the museum’s official name) again because you could spend forever there (no exaggeration).
Another monumental stop that I made in Amsterdam was visiting The Fault In Our Stars bench location (which is hilariously a landmark spot on both Apple and Google maps, so not hard to find at all). Though an imposter bench is currently sitting in its place, it was still a very meaningful spot to visit, especially for the 14-year-old in me that has always wanted to go there.
I can’t tell you how many times I watched TFIOS and cried and someday wished I’d be able to do an Amsterdam trip where I went to the spots that they did in the film (though the bench and the Anne Frank House I’d say is pretty fucking close). Visiting this spot for me was an absolute must.
I posted on my Instagram story that it was for the girl that still believed in Augustus and Hazel’s love story and that their love could transcend storybook pages and movie screens. It was truly for the girl that believes that real and authentic love still exists. I want her to keep being naive and for her outlook on romance and love to never change because the reality of love and the real world has been harsh after a few years in and out of the dating world.
It meant a lot to be able to see that spot (and the imposter bench) through her eyes and see the love stories of all the other lovers scribbled out on that bench, because it’s something they also believe in. In a way, you’re experiencing a small part of their love story and that’s pretty special.
The whole time I was there, I kept thinking of the line: “You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have a say in who hurts you. And I like my choices. I hope she likes hers.“
So even though the current version of me is pretty skeptical of true love and if that even exists for me, there’s a version of me at some point in time that watched TFIOS and read the book and believed that it does.
I did this for her.
Aside from one other travel endeavour I just got back from (I visited a longtime friend of mine I’ve known for years, for the very first time, in Liverpool just this past weekend), I feel like we’re coming up on the end of another London Letter.
I guess in summary I could say that I needed September. I needed every tear that I shed, frustration that I had, moment that I experienced, memory that I created. And though I uncovered some tough lessons I have yet to learn (in the two therapy sessions I had this month) and experienced some very low lows, I got to reap some of the rewards of why I moved here in the first place.
So in truth, I can’t say it’s all worth it yet but we’re getting there.
ED out x.
State of London: this month’s grievances
- people in London walking wherever the fuck they want on sidewalks
- men between the ages of 26 and 33
- cyclists in amsterdam
- ghosting and being ignored
- invalidated feelings
- acne
- the economy being so fucking expensive
- the feeling after you return from a vacation and realize you have to go back to work and actually make money
*PS: Tube line count is now 13 – I previously communicated that I’d taken the London Overground but that was A LIE. I mistook it for the South Western Rail (National Rail), but I have since taken the London Overground and it was underwhelming lol
Listen to: Pyro // Kings of Leon
Listen to The Sound of Unfiltered HERE
Ellie Doe-Demosse 