Well, in an unexpected turn of events, I’m back.

What a shocker — maybe London’s actually changing me. Maybe, I like being able to scream my thoughts into the void of the internet.

I mean— in a way, it is comforting to reflect on another month in this city and try to sum it all up in a chaotic flow of thoughts and sentences. Some might even say…therapeutic.

So let’s get onto the tea shall we?

June went by so fast I’m actually struggling to remember what I even accomplished…if I accomplished anything at all really. It was an incredibly busy blur of work, play, feeling, and not feeling.

I continued to have little reminders of Toronto pop up throughout the month; subtle nudges that I’m never truly too far from home. One instance being standing near a man wearing a 2019 Toronto Raptors NBA Championship hoodie on the tube home from work (ironically on the EXACT SAME DAY as the anniversary of the night we won the championship…I would come to realize later that night).

And another having my old work bestie come down for a visit and a kiki. The whole time she was here I just kept thinking “HOW are you here right now?” like the actual concept of flying from Toronto to London for a few days is near impossible. She was the first person to visit me since I moved out here and the first actual fucking taste of home (that I was able to touch, hold, hug, and converse with) and though it felt strange at first, we just picked right back up from where we left off (which wasn’t surprising in the slightest).

My job reached a whole new level of busy this month and it was all pretty much due to working on multiple different films at once, while also supporting other members of the larger global team as people start to take summer holidays and time off that all seem to intertwine (or intersect?) with other members of the team. Post Cannes 2024 titles (which consisted of Nasty, Niki, and Beating Hearts), I’ve worked on the following films: Inside Out 2, Fancy Dance, The Crow (temporarily), Longlegs, MaXXXine, and have been supporting my bosses with a few bits for the upcoming Kate Moss biopic Moss and Freud (which is in production right now).

I’ve heard the term “press junket” more times this month than I anticipated I would hear (and not just from my mouth, though I think I’ve even said it more times than I thought I would).

(Two gifs in one post is unheard of on Unfiltered but come on, I couldn’t not use this).

On a more London-related note, my tube line count hit 10 this month, when I added the Hammersmith & City (slow as FUCK, but on one of the instances that I took it the finest man I ever did see got on the stop before I got off and because this line really takes time in life, I got to bask in his deliciousness for those fleeting moments), Bakerloo, and Circle lines to my tally (no, I haven’t taken the bus yet and now I wanna see how long I can go without needing to).

You know, at first I thought figuring out London transit, especially all of the tube lines, would be the bane of my existence but I’ve actually gotten the hang of it pretty quickly and for the most part, know where I’m going in this FREAKISHLY HUGE city (though I’m still directionally challenged here so I would advise NOT using me as a compass until the end of the year at least…I’m giving myself until then to get my bearings of where north, south, east, and west are in my most frequented spots in London).

PS: Apple Maps only failed me once this month (and made me 10-15 minutes late for a screening) so I think our relationship is kind of getting better.

As for other things in my life that I feel is worth highlighting: I FINALLY STARTED THERAPY.

I’ve only done three sessions so far with my therapist (whom I adore, she’s simply the best) and already I can feel the difference it’s making by the things we’ve unpacked. Of all the things that were important to me when starting my new life here, seeing a therapist was in one of the top spots on the list. A lot has happened in my life (personally and professionally) over the last few years and it was important to me to start seeing somebody because as I begin to discover this new version of me and my life starts to piece itself together and play out here, I also want to process everything from the past as well. Everything that has impacted me, or shaped me into who I am, or has stuck with me, or in some cases tormented me — essentially everything that I’ve internalized — I feel needed to be brought into a safe space with a licensed therapist because that directly feeds into my growth, my healing, and overall evolution as a person now.

And so far, in this strange journey of confronting lingering demons from the past (and discovering demons that I didn’t even identify as demons originally), I’m liking it. I thought I would hate reopening old wounds and revisiting the tales of old scars, but it’s actually helped me realize why I do certain things or think in certain ways; how the roots of trauma have sprouted inside different versions of me or relationships I have.

So needless to say, I’m looking forward to whatever path this leads me down because regardless, it will be a healthy one even if it’s uncomfortable at first.

And a little something new that I’m gonna start to end each post because why the fuck not?

State of London: this month’s grievances

• allergies aka “hay fever”
• mold — far more common in the UK and grows too easily
• slow walkers on the tube platform when you’re just trying to get to a comfortable spot and
• ALSO stopping in the entrance of the tube platform for fucks sake
• the brits thinking it would be a good idea to have the clothing washer in the kitchen
• NO FUCKING CLOTHES DRYERS
• people’s dislike for the piccadilly line
• the fact that the piccadilly line is called piccadilly…tf is a piccadilly
• having to take two tube lines to get to the closest tims
• hot strangers on the tube
• anxiety for chatting up hot strangers in public, ESPECIALLY on the tube
• the distance between tube line transfers always being 80 years long
• the long walk from the king’s cross entrance to the victoria line and the varying temperatures in each corridor
• amex not being an accepted payment method everywhere
• no plugs in the bathroom
• the fact that they have different socket shapes here all together
• sporadic and random teams meetings/calls with no heads up
• touch base/catch up work calls right at 9:30am before i’ve had my morning coffee
• hammersmith & city line
• morning commutes
• fucking spiders

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